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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

In the past decade, global
air
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travel
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 has surged significantly. One major driver of
this
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 remarkable phenomenon is rising global income levels. As disposable incomes grow, particularly in developing nations, more individuals can afford international trips for work, education, and leisure.
Additionally
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, the rise of budget airlines has revolutionized the industry by offering low-cost fares, making
air
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travel
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 accessible to millions. Carriers
such
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 as Ryanair and AirAsia have significantly expanded flight networks, allowing more people to
travel
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 than ever before. Technological progress has
further
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 fueled
this
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 trend. Modern aircraft are more fuel-efficient, enabling longer
flights
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 at lower costs. Digital booking platforms have simplified trip planning, increasing consumer confidence in flying. Improved airport infrastructure and expanded routes have
also
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 enhanced global mobility, benefiting businesses and tourism-dependent economies.
However
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, despite these advantages, the rapid increase in
air
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travel
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 is not always a positive development. The aviation industry contributes significantly to climate change, with
flights
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 accounting for approximately 2.5% of global CO2 emissions. Many
flights
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, particularly short-haul ones, are unnecessary and could be replaced by greener alternatives
such
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 as high-speed rail.
Furthermore
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, the growth of mass tourism has led to overtourism in fragile destinations, harming local communities and ecosystems.
While
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 airlines are investing in sustainable aviation fuels and carbon offset programs, these measures remain inadequate.
Although
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air
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travel
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 fosters global connectivity and economic growth, its excessive and unregulated expansion causes more harm than good. Governments and industries must act to limit unnecessary
flights
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 and promote sustainable
travel
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. Without intervention, the long-term consequences will far outweigh the short-term benefits.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples. A stronger conclusion could summarize your key points more effectively.
task response
You answered the task well, discussing both reasons for the increase in air travel and its impacts. However, adding more specific examples or statistics could strengthen your points. Make sure to balance both sides of the argument equally.
task achievement
You effectively described the reasons for increased air travel and mentioned its effects on climate change. This shows that you understand the topic well and can engage with both sides of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
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