IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people are afraid to leave their home because of crime. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. What is your view?

#people #home #crime #believe #action
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A growing number of
people
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 are worried about leaving their
home
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 due to criminal activities occurring in their surroundings. Others,
however
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,think that more serious steps should be taken to reduce the crime rate. I think the government should take measures to address
this
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 problem and staying at
home
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 has detrimental impacts on
people
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’s mental health. On the one hand, some
people
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 tend to stay at
home
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 to avoid suffering from offensive activities. Since the number of offenders is increasing ,
people
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 feel unsafe .Staying at
home
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 is considered to be the most effective action which should be taken in order to prevent crime because
this
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 group of
people
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 believe that citizens are responsible for escaping from crimes rather than expecting from governments to take measures to address
such
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 issues.
On the other hand
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, a group of
people
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 think that it is the duty of government to provide security for citizens. Authorities should tackle
such
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 serious problems by setting rules which deter
people
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 from committing crimes because if criminals become aware of their anti-social behaviours,they will be reconsidering about committing them. Take a criminal as an example,if they become aware of the potential consequences of their anti-social behaviours, they will probably reconsider it. In my opinion,staying at
home
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 is not a practical solution because
people
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 should leave their homes in order to meet their basic necessities.
In addition
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,staying at
home
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 has detrimental effects on
people
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’s mental health due to mental needs which are remained unmet.
Therefore
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, governments should provide a safe and secure society for citizens in which they can meed their basic needs. In conclusion, staying at
home
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 or expecting from governments to tackle crime is still debatable.
However
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, I think the government has a significant role to play in solving
this
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 problem.
Submitted by suna.habibi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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