IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

#people #homes #space #garden #yard #balcony
A beautiful house with all the essential amenities is everybody's dream. Some
people
 believe that new homes should be built with balconies or private gardens. In my opinion,
this
 has more advantages than disadvantages which I will explain in
this
 essay. There are many
people
 who believe that having a private garden or balcony requires high maintenance, especially if you are planting fresh produce in
such
 places. Those who plant fruits and vegetables in their private garden need to invest a good amount
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
time and money to ensure
p
Add an article
the
show examples
roper growth of their plants.
Moreover
, clearing the fallen leaves from trees and pruning bushes are
also
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 tasks.
In addition
,
people
 think that storms can have
n
Add an article
a
show examples
egative impact on these outdoor spaces at times. Trees may be uprooted or can lose branches during storms as well as there is a risk of flooding in the
backyard
 if drainage isn't properly maintained.
However
, I feel the
adavntages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 outweigh these disadvantages.
A private
Remove the article
Private
show examples
 outdoor space can be used as children's play area as kids always love to play and it may not be possible to send them to the playground all the time. Having a fenced
backyard
 can enable children to play in a safe and secure environment.
Also
, it helps provide a buffer between you and your neighbours. Most
home owners
Correct your spelling
homeowners
show examples
 do not prefer hearing loud noises from their neighbour's house throughout the day which is solved by having a
backyard
 or lawn. In conclusion, many
people
 prefer new homes with a private
backyard
 or balcony.
Although
, owning
such
 houses may cost a
firtune
Correct your spelling
fortune
 but
it
Delete the pronoun
apply
show examples
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
show examples
 it is worth the experience.
Submitted by linzavarghesek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: