IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some of today’s schools insist that all students have their own laptop computer in class to assist in their education. Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students’ education, or would it be an unnecessary complication?

There is no denying the fact that students have their own laptops.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
this
Linking Words
 will assist them in their education and studies, there is an argument that opposes it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion that it is an unnecessary complication. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
 will be an advantage for young
people
Use synonyms
's education.
In other words
Linking Words
, it will make it easier by carrying fewer books and finding solutions to any problems they have in class.
In addition
Linking Words
, it would help them to know more about computers and develop skills .
For example
Linking Words
, there was one study with evidence that the usage of students of computers had better results than those who did not , around 80%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of the public think it would be an unnecessary complication. It is possible to say that it can be a costly purchase that most
people
Use synonyms
 can not afford , and it may take a lot of time to learn how to
use
Use synonyms
 it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, schools should not care about what students
use
Use synonyms
 , and
people
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
 what they like ,
such
Linking Words
 as books and laptops,and a phone. In conclusion, there are no answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, l tend to believe that the public should the free to
use
Use synonyms
 whatever they want and not be controlled by school
due to
Linking Words
 being disadvantaged more than advantaged.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the crowd should not care what schools want and do what they want.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main argument in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: