IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?

#work #leisure
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 regard their
work
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 as the most important aspects
in
Verify preposition usage
of
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life
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 and have little interest in anything else, while others are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. I would argue that
recration
Correct your spelling
recreation
is mope
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is moped
is moping
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 essential for
life
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. On the
one
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 hand, workaholics are likely to be successful in
life
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. It is believed that
people
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 have to allocate all of their time to
work
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 due to the fact that they can acquire great experience during working and
also
Linking Words
 generate sufficient revenue for their
life
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. Some
people
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 take a
second
Linking Words
 job or do extra
work
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 to supplement their salary as each person has greater responsibility. To illustrate when a person is a family man, he needs to have a house, a car, protect family financially, and
also
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 care
parents
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, parents,
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 when they are older. All
this
Linking Words
 requires a lot of income and hard
work
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On the other hand
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
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 conceive that workers should have entertainment,
moreover
Linking Words
 working. For
one
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,
life
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 with its responsibilities is stressful enough, and without hobbies to look forward to at the end of
grueling
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gruelling
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 working days makes
one
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 even more stressed out, which in serious cases could result in depression.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many succeed in making use of their skills and interests and turn them into lucrative remote side careers. With a photography hobby,
for instance
Linking Words
,
one
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 can start their business and seek their clients as a photographer. Meanwhile, a lot of categories fit into an art hobby, like graphic design, painting, and drawing.
Hence
Linking Words
, they can take Art Models or Production Artists into consideration. All in all, pursuing a hobby could yield many far-reaching benefits compared to excessive working. In conclusion, it is essential to develop
career
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a career
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 and working hard, even though I believe that it is better to appreciate leisure, according to
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 fact that it can be as productive as pleasant
Submitted by klysh on

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