Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Show essays »

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society #show #essays

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It is argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

shopping is considered as the most famous

time

Use synonyms

off activity whilst others believe that it has both advantages and drawbacks.

This

Linking Words

essay presents that advertisements are the primary agents for

this

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cause and economic hardships

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the greatest effect it has on the person and the community with a reasoned conclusion.

To begin

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with, commercials play a significant role in increased purchasing

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

habits

an individuals

Correct the article-noun agreement

individuals

an individual

show examples

Moreover

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, because of the convincing advertisements shown on various media, several

people

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think that if they possess certain things or wear trending clothes, they are respected in the society.

Thus

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, numerous citizens go shopping to buy those things in their free

time

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For example

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, a recent study conducted by The Newyork Times found that 2 out of 5

people

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go shopping to buy a product, they saw in an advertisement.

On the other hand

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this

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pattern causes financial hardships to

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apply

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individuals and

the

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apply

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society.

In other words

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, many

people

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take

loan

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a loan

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from another person or the financial institution to satisfy their shopping

habbit

Correct your spelling

habits

habit

This

Linking Words

action puts them under a financial debt that they cannot repay. To exemplify, most of the college students buy new clothes every week with a credit card,

eventhough

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even though

they know that they will not be able to clear the credit on

time

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Hence

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, the shopping trend has

negative

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a negative

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effect on

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the

show examples

overall community. In conclusion, purchasing new things has become

highly

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a highly

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popular activity in the free

time

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of an individuals

as a result

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of the advertisements on different media,

however

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, it has counter effects on both

people

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and the society by putting them in debts that they cannot pack back.

Submitted by shresthakrishchal on Sun Feb 07 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many country schools have severe problems with student behaivour. What do you think are the cause of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways,while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as busses,trains, and subways. Discuss and give your opinion.