Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Show essays »

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society #show #essays

It is argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

shopping is considered as the most famous

time

off activity whilst others believe that it has both advantages and drawbacks.

This

essay presents that advertisements are the primary agents for

this

cause and economic hardships

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the greatest effect it has on the person and the community with a reasoned conclusion.

To begin

with, commercials play a significant role in increased purchasing

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

habits

an individuals

Correct the article-noun agreement

individuals

an individual

show examples

Moreover

, because of the convincing advertisements shown on various media, several

people

think that if they possess certain things or wear trending clothes, they are respected in the society.

Thus

, numerous citizens go shopping to buy those things in their free

time

For example

, a recent study conducted by The Newyork Times found that 2 out of 5

people

go shopping to buy a product, they saw in an advertisement.

On the other hand

this

pattern causes financial hardships to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

individuals and

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society.

In other words

, many

people

take

loan

Add an article

a loan

show examples

from another person or the financial institution to satisfy their shopping

habbit

Correct your spelling

habits

habit

This

action puts them under a financial debt that they cannot repay. To exemplify, most of the college students buy new clothes every week with a credit card,

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

they know that they will not be able to clear the credit on

time

Hence

, the shopping trend has

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

effect on

Add an article

the

show examples

overall community. In conclusion, purchasing new things has become

highly

Add an article

a highly

show examples

popular activity in the free

time

of an individuals

as a result

of the advertisements on different media,

however

, it has counter effects on both

people

and the society by putting them in debts that they cannot pack back.

Submitted by shresthakrishchal on Sun Feb 07 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

274 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

An increasing number of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other prople think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?