In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

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Nowadays many adolescents over the world are facing a

health

Use synonyms

hazard like

obesity

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Although

Linking Words

there are numerous causes for it, improper

diet

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, lack of exercise, and hereditary problems can be

attributed

Verify preposition usage

toattributed

show examples

the most obvious ones. Some people say it is the

responsibilty

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responsibility

parents

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if children are facing

obesity

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This

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essay completely agrees that it is the duty of elders to take care of their offsprings as they are the closest ones to look after them.

This

Linking Words

view stated is asserted by two supportive ideas

first

Linking Words

, imbalanced

diet

Use synonyms

, and

second

Linking Words

, lack of physical exercise.

Firstly

Linking Words

, people should realise that

health

Use synonyms

is the utmost important thing in life and

diet

Use synonyms

plays a significant role in it. Obeseness is one

such

Linking Words

disease

that is

Linking Words

affected by

imbalanced

Add an article

the imbalanced

show examples

diet

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in a medical survey conducted recently by AIIMS, the numbers proved that more than 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of obese cases are due to

over consumption

Correct your spelling

overconsumption

show examples

of food.

This

Linking Words

trait can be obtained because there could be either compulsiveness to eat more or even a hereditary attribute.

However

Linking Words

, it can be controlled if

parents

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take the onus of

child

Use synonyms

's well-being.

Secondly

Linking Words

, most of the

modern day

Add a hyphen

modern-day

show examples

parents

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think that studies are the only way to be successful in life. In

this

Linking Words

presumption

Add a comma

,presumption

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they start pushing their children to study more and some of them even try discouraging if

thier

Correct your spelling

their

child

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is interested in sports.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a

child

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is involved in outdoor sports, because of his muscle movements calories will be burnt.

That is

Linking Words

why

this

Linking Words

disease is not observed in

atheletes

Correct your spelling

athletes

Although

Linking Words

there are allopathic medicines to cure

this

Linking Words

, many doctors prescribe physical exercise to be

the

Change the article

show examples

effective and natural way to tackle

obesity

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in youngsters. To summarize,

diet

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and physical

health

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play a key role in

obesity

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

why I reiterate that

parents

Use synonyms

should be accountable for

Use synonyms

child's

Add an article

a child's

the child's

show examples

health

Use synonyms

issues. Upon detailed

analysis

Add a comma

,analysis

show examples

it can be said that if elders encourage

adolesents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

to be involved in sports and maintain a strict food schedule,

health

Use synonyms

hazards like obeseness can be tackled.

avskkrish80Sun Feb 07 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.