In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regard of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

quiet

Correct article usage

a quiet

show examples

few communities, the amount of illegal activity by teens is increasing rapidly. Some individuals believe, regardless of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age,

minors that

Correct word order

that minors

show examples

are

committing

Wrong verb form

commit

show examples

serious illegal activities should

get

Verb problem

receive

show examples

adult punishments and retribution to discipline them. I disagree with punishing youngsters

Change preposition

show examples

the same

method

Check wording

way

show examples

used to punish adults for serious misconduct. Because

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

I believe that giving

such

Linking Words

heavy punishment to youngsters for their wrongdoing

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

Linking Words

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

is highly influenced by wrong guidance and environment.

Although

Linking Words

there are youngsters who did carry out significant misconduct, considering their

age

Punctuation problem

age,

show examples

where they would most likely be influenced by their environment and poor

judgement

Use the right word

judgment

show examples

skills, which could highly lead to making wrong decisions and

perform

Wrong verb form

performing

show examples

significant illegal acts.

Such

Linking Words

as having

being

Wrong verb form

been

show examples

bullied in school or being abused by their parents, which can often lead them to a breaking point, that leads them to commit a heinous violation, often it could be

due to

Linking Words

trying to protect themselves from any

further

Linking Words

harm in the future. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

statistics in

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

the USA

Punctuation problem

, it

show examples

has been shown that there has been a drastic increase in teenagers committing big

wrongdoing

Fix the agreement mistake

wrongdoings

show examples

due to

Linking Words

self-defence and for protection. After studying

Linking Words

further

Punctuation problem

further,

show examples

they found out that many of the students have mental problems

due to

Linking Words

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

environment,

such

Linking Words

as severe depression and anxiety, sociopath,

PTSD

Correct word choice

and PTSD

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, it often leads them

with

Change preposition

show examples

poor

judgement

Use the right word

judgment

show examples

skills and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of proper reasoning. In conclusion, punishing young individuals with adult punishments

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

is not the solution for them to stop committing any

further

Linking Words

significant illegal activities. I disagree with

such

Linking Words

heavy punishments for young individuals, even though they committed major crimes. In my opinion, we can change them for the better and prevent

such

Linking Words

a case from repeating by giving them frequent counselling.

shizza1812

Feb 9, 2021

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Task Response

State your view in one clear line in the intro, then stick to it in the body. Do not repeat phrases.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use clear paragraphs. Each idea should have one topic sentence and a short example.

Grammar

Use simple and correct grammar. Check verb tense and subject-verb agreement.

Task Response

Give more precise examples and link them to your point. Show how the example supports your view.

Strength

Clear aim to show a different view from common idea, which helps the task.

Strength

Some good reasons are given (environment, guidance) to support the view.

Strength

Effort to end with a solution (counselling) shows future move.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

psychological maturity
consequences of their actions
juvenile crime
root causes
family breakdown
poverty
lack of education
harsh penalties
rehabilitation and reformation
capacity for change
detrimental psychological effects
age-appropriate interventions
constructive path
deterrent
overcrowded prisons
exacerbate criminal behavior

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In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regard of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people want to own items such as cars, clothing, and other things made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermakets rather than small shops or local markets. Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

Nowadays,a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatmens instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?