IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people say that now we can see films on our phones or Tablet there is no need to go to cinema others say that to be fully enjoyed films to be seen in a cinema

#people #films #phones #tablet #cinema
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Nevertheless
Linking Words
, graphics and
Technology
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 makes the
cinema
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 vital and attractive society a segment of society believe that now we can see films on our phones
tablet
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 there is no need to go to
cinema
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 while another point that to be fully enjoyed films to be seen in theatres
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to delve both the argument before forming an opinion.
To begin
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 ,with
first
Linking Words
 and promo style
Technology
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 give up left to the electronic gadget in New Era and to attract
children
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 and young sister more to watch
movies
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 in the use of electronic gadgets are more so young
children
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 use electronic as social things and
also
Linking Words
 to watch
movies
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 in
cell
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 phones or tablets watching
movies
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 in
cell
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 phones helps to save time rather than to go
cinema
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 and 10 Days long lines to buy tickets which is wastage of time and money
for example
Linking Words
 lot of site create free watching
movies
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 sites to watch
furthermore
Linking Words
 using electronic gadgets are safer to watch
movies
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 throughout busy routine of parents let them buy a
cell
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 phone to their
children
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 to watch
movies
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 rather go
cinema
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 Hans watching
movies
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 in
cell
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 or
Tablet
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 are good Nor going
cinema
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On the other hand
Linking Words
 graphics and
Technology
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 creates theatres vital to watch
movies
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 use of
technology
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 in
theatre
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 is high class and give a better
experience
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 of sound and display which attract pupils to watch
movies
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 in
theatre
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Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 a good sound system experiment system and digital display give better
experience
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moreover
Linking Words
 mostly new release
movies
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 are available in
theatre
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 rather than
Cell
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 Phone or
Tablet
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 which create curiosity in
children
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's to go to watch on
cinema
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 Hans
theatre
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 give a lot of better
experience
Use synonyms
 of watching
movies
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 and attract youngsters To conclude considering all the points mentioned above electronic gadgets like
cell
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 phone and
tablet
Use synonyms
 is helpful to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 that are to go
cinema
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 and save time but
also
Linking Words
experience
Use synonyms
 of watching
movies
Use synonyms
 in the
theatre
Use synonyms
 is different which attract youngsters
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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