IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It was predicted that people in the 21st century would have much more free time than people in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

#people #st #century #time #prediction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Life has become more fast-paced than ever before, and
people
Use synonyms
 rarely have any leisure
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves.
Thus
Linking Words
, I think that the prediction about individuals enjoying more free
time
Use synonyms
 in the 21st century has not come true.
This
Linking Words
 essay would discuss the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 hectic lifestyle.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the changed
work
Use synonyms
 hours environment and has occupied the majority of a person’s
time
Use synonyms
. In past
people
Use synonyms
 normally used to
work
Use synonyms
 in regular office hours ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 now they have the opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
 round the clock and make extra money. Their dreams of luxurious or at least better future lure them for availing
this
Linking Words
 opportunity, which results in increasing
work
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 and decreasing personal and free
time
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, there is a cut-throat competition in the job market today,
this
Linking Words
 compelled most employees to consume their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 for sake of better performance and substantially job security.
Moreover
Linking Words
, trends of dual-income nuclear families, as well as adults moving out for jobs, are
also
Linking Words
 affecting the amount of free
time
Use synonyms
 a person gets. In both scenarios, a working person does not only has the responsibility of office
work
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 needs to do household chores after returning from office.
This
Linking Words
 makes it almost impossible for them to enjoy any free
time
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, in old days elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in joint families and housewives used to take care of these chores, and working
people
Use synonyms
 did
also
Linking Words
 have
time
Use synonyms
 to relax.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are travelling these days, enjoying international trips unlike the past,
this
Linking Words
 creates a thought that humans have more recreational
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they are actually getting
this
Linking Words
 one or two weeks
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves once or twice a year, and working like machines for rest of the year, which can not be justified as more free
time
Use synonyms
 in comparison to past. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 are working harder with increased competition, more working hours, more responsibilities and reduced leisure
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kaursukhveer776 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: