IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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It is often believed that
advice
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 from fellow students or co-workers is more helpful than that from
seniors
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such
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 as teachers and supervisors. I partially support
this
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 view, for their understanding of a person leads to help which meets more individual needs regardless of the importance of new insights provided by
seniors
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. On the one hand,
people
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 are able to learn more effectively with help from other students or co-workers since they often have a better understanding of each other.
In other words
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, the
knowledge
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 of individual tastes and characters, which they are more familiar with than those working at a higher level, allows them to provide more suitable
advice
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.
For instance
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, nervous friends are able to cope with their stress better when they are told to relax, imagining their favourite characters and beautiful sceneries, which will facilitate their study and work more than simple directions from their
seniors
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.
Therefore
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, they tend to improve their learning performance as they can trust
advice
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 from friends or co-workers who wish their happiness and health more than anybody else.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 are able to gain more stimulating experiences from those with a higher status, who offer more new
knowledge
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 and skills. Indeed, their understanding will be boosted dramatically thanks to help from more experienced
people
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 with superior intelligence and techniques.
Furthermore
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, they are more likely to make steady progress because of the continuous input of new
knowledge
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as well as
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 their professional experience in handling various situations and personnel.
Thus
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, they will achieve their goals more smoothly, which
also
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 makes them proud and motivated. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that
people
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 can learn better as they follow
advice
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 from those at the same level
due to
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 their deeper understanding of their characters and hobbies and their strong desire for happiness and well-being.
However
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, they are able to increase their
knowledge
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 and skills when they learn from
seniors
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 with more sophisticated and diverse experiences.

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task response
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, make sure to balance the points more evenly. You could slightly expand on the counter-argument to ensure a more balanced view.
task response
Your ideas are generally clear and well-developed. However, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of learning from those at a higher level could be more focused on specific advantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each main point is supported with examples, which is good. However, make use of more transitional phrases to ensure better flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well. It presents your partial agreement clearly, which guides the reader through your arguments effectively.
task response
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples, which strengthen your main points and make your arguments more convincing.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a good command of language and vocabulary, with varied sentence structures that keep the reader engaged.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer learning
  • comfortable environment
  • open communication
  • collaboration
  • shared experiences
  • relevant examples
  • camaraderie
  • motivation
  • terminology
  • wealth of experience
  • expertise
  • broader perspective
  • structured learning
  • clear objectives
  • monitor progress
  • valuable insights
  • mentorship
  • professional development
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