Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is often believed that
advice
from fellow students or co-workers is more helpful than that from seniors
such
as teachers and supervisors. I partially support this
view, for their understanding of a person leads to help which meets more individual needs regardless of the importance of new insights provided by seniors
.
On the one hand, people
are able to learn more effectively with help from other students or co-workers since they often have a better understanding of each other. In other words
, the knowledge
of individual tastes and characters, which they are more familiar with than those working at a higher level, allows them to provide more suitable advice
. For instance
, nervous friends are able to cope with their stress better when they are told to relax, imagining their favourite characters and beautiful sceneries, which will facilitate their study and work more than simple directions from their seniors
. Therefore
, they tend to improve their learning performance as they can trust advice
from friends or co-workers who wish their happiness and health more than anybody else.
On the other hand
, people
are able to gain more stimulating experiences from those with a higher status, who offer more new knowledge
and skills. Indeed, their understanding will be boosted dramatically thanks to help from more experienced people
with superior intelligence and techniques. Furthermore
, they are more likely to make steady progress because of the continuous input of new knowledge
as well as
their professional experience in handling various situations and personnel. Thus
, they will achieve their goals more smoothly, which also
makes them proud and motivated.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that people
can learn better as they follow advice
from those at the same level due to
their deeper understanding of their characters and hobbies and their strong desire for happiness and well-being. However
, they are able to increase their knowledge
and skills when they learn from seniors
with more sophisticated and diverse experiences.Submitted by mizuho on
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task response
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, make sure to balance the points more evenly. You could slightly expand on the counter-argument to ensure a more balanced view.
task response
Your ideas are generally clear and well-developed. However, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of learning from those at a higher level could be more focused on specific advantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each main point is supported with examples, which is good. However, make use of more transitional phrases to ensure better flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well. It presents your partial agreement clearly, which guides the reader through your arguments effectively.
task response
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples, which strengthen your main points and make your arguments more convincing.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a good command of language and vocabulary, with varied sentence structures that keep the reader engaged.
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