IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

#computers #part #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, there is an advance increase in various technologies.
Computer
Use synonyms
 plays an essential role in various sectors. In
Use synonyms
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are some cons of using
computers
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using
computers
Use synonyms
 in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 field of
education
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are lots of transformation happened in the field of
education
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Add an article
the last
show examples
 few decades due to
invention
Add an article
the invention
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
computer
Change the article
the computer
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
the computer
show examples
 is a source where
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 can get various
information
Use synonyms
 to gain knowledge. We can save lectures videos
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that
students
Use synonyms
 can access those videos and learn at any time if they missed the offline lecture. In covid 19
situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
show examples
, many schools were off and
students
Use synonyms
 were got disturbed. But because of advance
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
, lectures didn't
stopped
Change the verb form
stop
show examples
,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 class was started and
students
Use synonyms
 were able to attend lectures online from
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
. Various educational
information
Use synonyms
 has been provided online which help
students
Use synonyms
 to cope up with their assignments and project.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
computers
Use synonyms
 have some disadvantages too. In our global village, many
students
Use synonyms
 got attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 work. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
defect
Add an article
a defect
show examples
 in
eyes
Add an article
the eyes
show examples
. Because sitting in front of
computers
Use synonyms
 for a long time causes strain on an eye.
Also
Linking Words
 on
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
, while browsing for
an
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
information
Use synonyms
, not all the
information
Use synonyms
 are authentic. So many
students
Use synonyms
 get
Correct your spelling
mislead
misleaded
Correct your spelling
misled
show examples
 by wrong
information
Use synonyms
 and end up resulting in bad grades. Due to
Add an article
the increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 use of
computers
Use synonyms
, young youth are very apathy towards doing outdoor activities. Physical activities are reduced due to more use of
computers
Use synonyms
 which causes health issues later To sum up,
computers
Use synonyms
 have their pros and cons
on
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. But it is an essential part of
education
Use synonyms
 because advantages outweigh the cons of
computers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by djsayyed98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: