many students take partime jobs while studying in university , you think it’s a good idea or bad idea.

#students #partime #jobs #university #it’s #idea

Nowadays, there has commonly been a

houge

Correct your spelling

huge

amount of

debat

Correct your spelling

debit

debate

with regards to the pupil work while they are studying. In general in developed countries and

also

in the developing one,

this

matter has a contradictory opinion from

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

and governments. The main purpose of

this

essay is to present the negative affect of students

partime

Correct your spelling

parttime

part time

jops

Correct your spelling

jobs

job

. From my

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

show examples

, I believe it is

harm

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

for students health

mentaly

Correct your spelling

mentally

and

pysicaly

Correct your spelling

physically

physical

. It is evident that if children

Change preposition

show examples

school age

Add a hyphen

school-age

show examples

are working, it would prevent them to have a good education. To explain that more, students who work as a

partime

Correct your spelling

pastime

they would not be able to concentrate on their schools.

Moreover

, they would have a massive

tasks

Correct the article-noun agreement

task

show examples

to do

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

, so they will not have the time to express their selves and build their own

idendety

Correct your spelling

identity

For example

, they could not

handel

Correct your spelling

handle

daily homework and their job role.

Thus

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

it is crucial to protect children rights as what United Nation did. As a

community

Add a comma

,community

show examples

we need to support

this

ligistlation

Correct your spelling

legislation

. The

seconed

Correct your spelling

second

thing is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

governments should ensure that the coming generation is ready educational and emotional to carry out to build the society.

In other words

, if

studnts

Correct your spelling

students

have their own time in the university, they will be capable when they are

gradyated

Correct your spelling

graduated

to work with full energy to change the country in the best way. To illustrate that, pupil

usualy

Correct your spelling

usually

Change the verb form

searches

show examples

for their

intrest

Correct your spelling

interest

and hobby in college period, so if they became busy with heavy

deuty

Correct your spelling

duty

this

will prevent their growth

emotionaly

Correct your spelling

emotionally

and

pysicaly

Correct your spelling

physically

physical

Finally

this

is the vital point that

deter

Change the verb form

deters

show examples

the student from working as partime. In conclusion, when it comes to

this

theme, different individuals would suggest a wide range of proposals discuss what needs to be done. Overall, it is the responsibility of the governments and civilians alike to help improve the matters at hand. As well as I

mention

Change the form of the verb

mentioned

show examples

before,

Change the capitalization

show examples

think there is a harsh impact on the student.

Submitted by nortalsahli on Sun Feb 14 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of a particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that the extinction of species of flora and fauna are important environmental problems, while others think that other environmental issues require more attention. Although the loss of species is affecting our ecosystem, I believe that climate change and pollution are more pressing as they are directly connected to the extinction of species.
7
band
Some poeple claim that it is unfair tomhave same age limit in work.Do you agree or disagree?
In workplaces,there is a certain age restriction and when people reach that age,they get a pension and leave their jobs.Some people assert that each work should be given an age limit in order to its difficulty level totally agree with this statement.
4.5
band
All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree.
All vecihle emit fossil fuels into the air so the government should be prohibited as well as battery-powered vehicles replace them. I fully agree with this statement because nowadays, the consumption of cars is increasing and which is influencing climate change day by day.
4.5
band
Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this technology era, all the developed countries are encouraging tourism. Tourism contributes alot for increasing the economics of the worlld as fastest growing industries. Whereas, the damage on local culture and environment is often ignored. I agree to this point but upto some extent and will this in following.
5
band
In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?
The content of advertising industry has evolved significantly, over the past decades. While in the past almost all of focus of businesses was on emphasising on the high quality of their products, thses days most of them aim to attract customers by bolding the new and unique features of their goods.This essay discusses the underlying causes of this trend and my point of views regarding the influences of it. First and foremost, in this technology-driven era with the emergence of sevral high-profile businesses, competing just in terms of quality, has become difficult for companies. Thus they have to entice people by highliting the innovative and peculiar features of their merchandise. This appeal to novelty taps into a psychological phenomenon known as the "novelty effect," where people are more likely to be attracted to and interested in something new and unique. Taking Samsung and Apple two giant companies in mobile phone market, as an example, which both produce best quality phones,...

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

many students take partime jobs while studying in university , you think it’s a good idea or bad idea.

Your opinion

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of a particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some poeple claim that it is unfair tomhave same age limit in work.Do you agree or disagree?

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree.

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+