IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that international news is more important than local news. Others argue that local news is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #news
In recent decades, the globalization causes someone
Add the particle
to believe
show examples
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
international
news
 is more significant than
domestic
Add an article
a domestic
the domestic
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 one.
However
, others hold the
opinion
Verify preposition usage
ofopinion
onopinion
show examples
 the opposite
opinion
. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 sides and give my
owe
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
opinion
 of
this
 issue. On the one hand,
people
 arguing in the favour of international
news
, generally, claim that in today’s developing generation more and more
people
 prefer to choose
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 abroad. In order to get more information about the policies in
target
Add an article
the target
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 country for international students, those group of
people
 believe that
,
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apply
show examples
 the international
news
 is more valuable than
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 one for them. Meanwhile, due to the pandemic which our world face right now, these
people
also
 pay more attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the international
news
 because they care for the serious level of their destination of studying.
On the other hand
,
other
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another
show examples
group
Change the wording
groups
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 of
people
 hold the opposite
opinion
 because through the local
news
 can get some practical information about the local development, it may benefit for our daily life. For instances, the subway has been constructed, the price of meat increase, the new shopping mall has opened and so on.
Therefore
, prior information can help them to know the latest change
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 the city and get
the
Remove the article
apply
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convenience from
this
 development. In conclusion, both international and national
news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 significant, as these both control our lives differently.
However
, for me, I believe that the international
news
 in much important because I applied
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university abroad. The policies and pandemic conditional in foreign will give more effect on me than the local
news
.
Submitted by Esther on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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