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Band 7.5

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

#people #effects #epidemic
It is observed that more and more
people
 have put on weight around the world. There are ample reasons accounting for
this
 including an unbalanced diet, lacking exercise and growing stress. Obesity does harm to
people
's health and the economic development of society. Causes for fatness derive from many aspects.
Firstly
, an increasing number of
people
 are addicted to junk food
such
 as hamburgers and sweet drinks because they are widely sold at low prices in chain stores over the world.
People
 are so occupied with their jobs or study that they have no time to prepare homemade food while eating out is much more convenient.
Secondly
, a commercial advertisement for snacks with high calories is everywhere, which prompts both adults and children to consume unhealthy food.
Thirdly
, everyone can not help eating unhealthily to cheer themselves up when they are in a bad mood or under enormous pressure in
this
 competitive world.
Last
 but not least, it is not easy for
people
 to make up their minds and go exercising nowadays after a long day's hard work or tender learning. The popularity of obesity might affect
people
's health as well as the economic growth of society.
To begin
 with, fatness comes with many commodities including high pressure, diabetes and vascular disease which are chronic and cost a lot. What is more, if these overweight
people
 take days off frequently to see a doctor or even get hospitalized, the work productivity will suffer and the social welfare system will face a considerable challenge. In conclusion, several main factors contribute to the rising number of overweight individuals, which result in poor health and hinder economic progression.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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