IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People are divided in their opinion regarding whether teenage years are the happiest time for most individuals or adulthoods. According to some folks,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are happier than
adults
Use synonyms
, while others have a totally opposing view.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both views and I will explain why I believe
adults
Use synonyms
'
life
Use synonyms
 brings more happiness than teenagehood'. On the one hand,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have no direct responsibilities for
life
Use synonyms
 and are still under the custody of their parents or caregivers.
In other words
Linking Words
, they do not have to make
money
Use synonyms
 or provide support for others. Needless to say that, responsibility cause stress and can cause
adults
Use synonyms
 not to be able to experience happiness as much.
Besides
Linking Words
, a teen can enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
 by spending time with friends, watching TV, playing video games and having food, shelter and support of their caretakers. In fact, they have all they need to be happy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, youth age is a big transition between childhood and adulthood and
lots
Use synonyms
 of hormonal changes happen in their bodies. These changes can bring
lots
Use synonyms
 of emotions like depression, anxiety that can negatively impact the sense of joy. On top of that, they are not mature enough to know how to properly deal with those emotions which can lead to unhappiness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they still have
lots
Use synonyms
 of unknown about their futures in terms of career and education. All of that can make them not be able to enjoy
freedom
Use synonyms
 and happiness. In my perspective,
adults
Use synonyms
 have happier lives than
teenagers
Use synonyms
.
Adults
Use synonyms
 have already their future mostly planned and are working, no one can tell them what to do. They have
freedom
Use synonyms
 of using their
money
Use synonyms
 to enjoy
life
Use synonyms
. while
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are still dependent on their parents' approval for everything and can not spend
money
Use synonyms
 on whatever they decide.
Thus
Linking Words
,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 still cannot have the
freedom
Use synonyms
 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 and enjoy
life
Use synonyms
 as much as
adults
Use synonyms
. To sum up, while some might argue with me and find teenagehood most joyful period of time because they have less responsibility and more
freedom
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their lives. In my view, youth are under
lots
Use synonyms
 of pressure due to the hormonal changes and
also
Linking Words
 not having the future planned yet.
Submitted by armiario139 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: