Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
think that some
types
of
progress
are equally important for a
country
while many governments say that economic
progress
is their most important goal. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly agree with both comments.
To begin
with,a
country
's economy is highly indispensable as it represents the reputation of a
country
,in order to build a rich
country
government are determined to place the economic
progress
on the priority.
Therefore
,the
ciggarete
Correct your spelling
cigarette
and alcohol
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
still operate
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
they caused a lot of disease on
people
's health,and because many
people
are addicted to alcohol and
ciggarette
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
so government probably gain
quite
Change the article
aquite
show examples
sum of profits to boost the
country
's economy.
In addition
,entertainment
such
as movies and online games are allowed because it chills everybody and
gather
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gathers
show examples
the most users in any other
types
of program.
Thus
,by running
these
Change the determiner
this bussiness
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
a
country
can boost the economy in a gradual positive gradient.
On the other hand
,some
people
comments
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comment
show examples
other
types
of
progress
should be equally important.To illustrate,our environment has been in a risky condition because
thousand
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a thousand
show examples
types
Change preposition
of types
show examples
of pollutants are being
exorted
Correct your spelling
exported
exhorted
extorted
by industrial factory and transportation.
Consequently
,human activities are ruining the mother earth and causing the global warming problem.
Moreover
,the worst thing is our food supply chain can be influenced as the ecosystem is disrupted by toxic chemicals.Another vital factor is education,if we focus too much on gaining profits from entertainment,the education of
people
will be getting worse because more and more
people
likely to
spending
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spend
show examples
their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chilling.
As a result
,there will be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
Replace the word
successful
show examples
success
Verify preposition usage
forsuccess
insuccess
show examples
people
and bring down the population's knowledge and IQ. In conclusion,the government should not just favour
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
economic
progress
also
need to be optimistic about balancing other factors that
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
country
's
connerstone
Correct your spelling
cornerstone
.
Submitted by thien on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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