IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. what are the causes? Suggest some solutions?

#people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays teenagers become more impolite and do not respect adults.
This
Linking Words
 problem is getting worse from day
to day
Correct your spelling
today
show examples
. Some people argue about the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it. In the
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will try to find the motives of it and give a decision about how can we stop it. From my point of view, one of the causes is that parents spend less
time
Use synonyms
 with their children presently. They are into their work and career, so infants must educate themselves without
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
 of relatives.
As a result
Linking Words
, teens grow up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental unhealthy, they argue a lot, they do not know how they need to behave in public. So, I believe, that the essential reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children who educated badly is their parents’ inattention. What can we do to slow
this
Linking Words
 process of badly behaved youth amount growing up? Most importantly, mothers should give more care to their kids and spend much more
time
Use synonyms
 with them. If it is impossible,
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 must visit some extra classes,
such
Linking Words
 as dancing or drawing etc. Activities like
this
Linking Words
 will take their
time
Use synonyms
 without parents and
furthermore
Linking Words
, it can develop their skills and interests.
Therefore
Linking Words
, teenagers must spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with pleasure and benefits for their future as well as they should spend less
time
Use synonyms
 with their phones, which are crucial for their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. To sum up, society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to pay more attention to the youngsters and their education. In my humble opinion, the problem of less polite and respectful kids can be solved quickly if we really want it to be.
Submitted by Alina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: