It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
The question of whether taking risks in our lives is beneficial is worthy of debate. Some people argue that taking risks in a particular circumstance might be advantageous for their self-development. I
also
agree with the opinion, and I think the benefits of challenging risks outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
, when the Great Depression hit the United States, citizens suffered from a high number of business failures and unemployment. President Franklin Roosevelt believed that the government should play a powerful and more active role in the economic crisis. So, he issued the New Deal. With the advent of the policy, the Federal Art Project was established as a part of the New Deal. Even in the circumstance when most citizens are unemployed, the government tried to bolster the artists to inform the severe conditions of the depression. As a result
, there were candid photos demonstrating the financial pinch taken by the photographers who were supported by the government. Ultimately, it helped to recover from the financial depression.
Secondly
, take Steve Jobs as an example. Steve Jobs is an entrepreneur who brought Apple from near bankruptcy to profitability. While
other companies placed emphasis on the function of cell phones and computers, Jobs had ideas and emphasized aesthetics, design and the compact size of the phones. His keen sense of the market and meddlesome trial to the risky challenge led him to significantly increase the company’s sales and discover customer needs across all ages. He finally
climbed the ladder of success, because of his adventurous but innovative ideas.
To recapitulate, to venture both in the professional lives and the personal lives is vital for success. Adapting to the new phases resulting from changes plays a significant role in the progress of the nations and organizations. Furthermore
, leaders can make a difference in their communities and bring about positive change that shapes the course of history.Submitted by rainbowlck on
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task achievement
Try to develop the introduction more by clearly stating both sides of the argument before presenting your position. This will give you a stronger foundation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and transitions smoothly into the next. This will enhance the overall flow and clarity.
task achievement
Although you provided strong examples, ensure they are directly linked back to your main argument to reinforce your point.
task achievement
Excellent use of specific historical and business examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Structured logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively demonstrated how taking risks can lead to significant achievements and progress.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.