IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Adolescents in many
countries
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 are promoted to work and travel for one
year
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 after high
school
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 graduation.
This
Linking Words
 trend is popular in western
countries
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nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
. It is a tendency to believe that young
people
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 who took a
gap
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year
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 before
start
Change the form of the verb
starting
show examples
 their
university
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 may have
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 perspective and know the exact point of their future
life
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.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
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 may think that
this
Linking Words
 aspect may waste the time rather than go straight
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 after finishing high
school
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. According to
this
Linking Words
 point of view, there are many western
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 wandering to other
countries
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 after they are graduated
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 high
school
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 to work and travel. Some young
people
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 believe that work and travel before enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
university
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 will make them gain more experience
also
Linking Words
 know what they want to be in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, living
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own without asking
money
Change preposition
for money
show examples
 from
parent
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
 will make them realise how to deal with the money in their
life
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.
This
Linking Words
 point
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 the better monetizing management and experiences from working. Pinpointing at travelling to
others
Replace the word
other
show examples
countries
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 can open their perspective in different cultures as well. The advantages of
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gap
Add an article
a gap
show examples
year
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 are
actual
Change the adjective
actually
show examples
 seen that the
children
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 who have more experience in
life
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 may prompt to start their lives in
university
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 better than others.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
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believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that the
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 after high
school
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 is wasted.
For instance
Linking Words
, Asians
children
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 mostly straightforward from high
school
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 to
university
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 so they can finish degrees and start their own lives faster. They think that the experiences can receive after they have their certain jobs and money.
This
Linking Words
 is why some
people
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 think that the disadvantages of having a
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 may waste the time of monetizing and having a quality job. They might lose their chances to apply to a good position in
university
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 because when the time
pass
Change the verb form
passes
show examples
 by, there are more intelligence juniors to challenge your position in the major faculties that you want to apply
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 In conclusion,
There
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 are several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits and drawbacks of
Use synonyms
gap
Add an article
a gap
show examples
year
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 in high
school
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children
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. I strongly agree that it would be better for
children
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 to take a
year
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 leave before
start
Change the verb form
starting
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university
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 to fulfil the
life
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 experience and guide the future
life
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 in the happiness way

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
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