In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

Adolescents in many

countries

are promoted to work and travel for one

year

after high

school

graduation.

This

trend is popular in western

countries

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

. It is a tendency to believe that young

people

who took a

gap

year

before

start

Change the form of the verb

starting

show examples

their

university

may have

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

perspective and know the exact point of their future

life

However

, some

people

may think that

this

aspect may waste the time rather than go straight

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

university

after finishing high

school

. According to

this

point of view, there are many western

Correct your spelling

children's

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

wandering to other

countries

after they are graduated

Change preposition

from

show examples

high

school

to work and travel. Some young

people

believe that work and travel before enrolled

Change preposition

show examples

university

will make them gain more experience

also

know what they want to be in the future.

For example

, living

Change preposition

show examples

their own without asking

money

Change preposition

for money

show examples

from

parent

Add an article

a parent

the parent

show examples

will make them realise how to deal with the money in their

life

This

point

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

the better monetizing management and experiences from working. Pinpointing at travelling to

others

Replace the word

other

show examples

countries

can open their perspective in different cultures as well. The advantages of

gap

Add an article

a gap

show examples

year

are

actual

Change the adjective

actually

show examples

seen that the

children

who have more experience in

life

may prompt to start their lives in

university

better than others.

However

, some

people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that the

gap

year

after high

school

is wasted.

For instance

, Asians

children

mostly straightforward from high

school

university

so they can finish degrees and start their own lives faster. They think that the experiences can receive after they have their certain jobs and money.

This

is why some

people

think that the disadvantages of having a

gap

year

may waste the time of monetizing and having a quality job. They might lose their chances to apply to a good position in

university

because when the time

pass

Change the verb form

passes

show examples

by, there are more intelligence juniors to challenge your position in the major faculties that you want to apply

Change preposition

to.

show examples

In conclusion,

There

Correct your spelling

there

show examples

are several

Change preposition

apply

show examples

benefits and drawbacks of

gap

Add an article

a gap

show examples

year

in high

school

children

. I strongly agree that it would be better for

children

to take a

year

leave before

start

Change the verb form

starting

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

university

to fulfil the

life

experience and guide the future

life

in the happiness way

Submitted by noppapat_k on Thu Feb 18 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

372 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many people believe investing money in space science may guarantee human’s survivor in the future. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement for numerous reasons.
7
band
Number of people who are at high risk due to overweight.what is the reason?
Nowadays, a myriad of people are gaining too much weight, putting them on the verge of a medical crisis. The deterioration of a healthy lifestyle might be the underlying cause, primarily related to a bad diet and lack of exercise . This essay will explain it based on personal and global perspectives.
5
band
Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?
In this day and age, there is a divisive opinion in society. Where some folks tend to look for medical treatment on the sites. However, others choose to seeing a qualified doctor. Based on my perspective, it will be positive development for in recent years along with this letter I am going to discuss the reason of this phenomenon before arriving at the sum up.
4
band
In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion aboout this?
In some cities of the USA, a 'curfew is imposed, in which teenager not allowed . They should go out with adults , in the night.In my opinion, I particularly agree this low, because small boys and girls walking alone in the street, it is dangerous her, his . To explanation, cities is have a many of cars and cars are very fast although, people's children is not allowed go out alone. For example, in the week there were many accidents and it is accident with babbies so it is awful condition.At all is we do not carefully . As a result, teenagers diead early due to an accident, and it is shocking.
6.5
band
Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Outer space is being invested by the governments and some individuals argue that the money should be spent on poor people. This writer believes that using money in space research could bring humanity new technological advances by learning about other planets' climates and conditions, whereas making those investments in poor people could satisfy the public and increase people's trust in the government which seems to be a superior benefit.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Number of people who are at high risk due to overweight.what is the reason?

Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion aboout this?

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.