IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that some
people
Use synonyms
 do believe in education and skills development as replacement jail punishment for those who are committing a
crime
Use synonyms
. Not to mention, though, prison sentences are not the most effective way for all kinds of crimes to address. I do partly agree with
this
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 surrogate method. The reason why some
people
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 think job training can be set
instead
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 of prison punishment would be its efficient impact on an individual’s behaviour. In the other words,
this
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 is because
people
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,
in particular
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 teenagers, who are committing a
crime
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such
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 as pickpocketing or even drug smuggling need to treat in the right way.
Besides
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this
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, most adolescent criminals have grown up in poor or broken families,
thus
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, they do not have the
chance
Verify preposition usage
ofchance
show examples
 being a productive person, and most of them unintentionally tend to commit a
crime
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.
Therefore
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, it is unfair to experience prison sentences and should be given a new chance to build their life.
Additionally
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, on the other side, jail is a place in which can be seen different aged criminals commit varied offences including murder, vandalism, kidnapping and so on, that make jail far more dangerous
instead
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 of being informative. I do think,
however
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, imposing a fine on petty
crime
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, run a light
for example
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, or even in some online fraud that
people
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 lose their money. In conclusion,
although
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 education and professions training are suitable ways that can apply
instead
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 of
such
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 harsh sentences, I do believe imposing fine might be proper as well.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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