Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The argument that

parents

no longer give adequate attention to their offsprings when contrasted with old times is agreeable. Work-life balance and social media strongly contribute to

this

This

essay will discuss them both, and

also

encourage

parents

to create more family

time

. Due to hectic working hours imposed on employees by some organizations,

parents

are not afforded so much free

time

For instance

, modern-day companies in a bid to outshine the competition, make workers, some of whom are

parents

stay at the office for long hours,

this

leads to tiredness when they get home.

Hence

, they are not able to play or even have meaningful conversations with their family. The internet

also

causes adults to digress from taking care of kids under their custody.

Furthermore

, a good amount of

time

is dedicated by

parents

to social media apps

such

as Instagram, Facebook and Whatsapp. On these platforms, they like pictures, comment on posts and engage in irrelevant topics,

this

causes them to neglect their social responsibility which is bonding with their

children

Consequently

this

leads to the

children

partaking in activities that are harmful to their health.

For example

, in Nigeria The Drug Enforcement Agency reports that a great ratio of drug abusers are minors,

this

could

however

be averted if they were advised by their guardians.

Parents

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

have a role to play which is creating a balance between work and personal life.

This

can be done by arranging family games. To conclude,

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

is an important aspect of life. As

such

people who have

children

should carve out

time

to discuss and play with them.

In addition

, less

time

should be dedicated to trivial things on the internet,

this

will

further

spur up interest to engage with these

children

Submitted by shabimichael on Fri Feb 19 2021

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Your opinion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your opinion

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on inproving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books. “Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?