IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours living very little time for leisure activities does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantage?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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It is irrefutable that,
time
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 management plays a vital role in our life.A great number of individual spend more
time
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 on their
work
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 for great opportunities.expand working hours impact on our
health
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 and create a major issue in our family and society.I would like to explicate both statements in my upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
people
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work
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 for a long duration it helps in their career progression as well as
got
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getting
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 more job opportunities.In the competitive world, hard
work
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 is more important for every employee to prove themselves to be an asset to the company. Many companies provide a great opportunity for everybody to improve their skills.
Work
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 hard is the major benefit it might bring.
In addition
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 ,hard-working employees are offered not only an incentive but
also
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 allowance and other benefits
such
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 as housing, free medical insurance, free travelling etc.Apart from that, human being earns more money to fulfil their desired and needs.every individual wants a luxury life that's why they do a job in the long duration.
secondly
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, a few
people
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 enjoy their
work
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, they don't take a leave or devote a
time
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 to entertainment
activities
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. On the flip side,
health
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 is wealth. Physical
activities
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 more important than
work
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 for long duration and
people
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 having barely
time
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 for physical
activities
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 can lead to numerous
health
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 issue.,
,,
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apply
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Linking Words
moreover
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,moreover
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work
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 for long hours and continue to star on the screen they impact our eye's,
people
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 can lead to eye diseases
such
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 as blur vision, eye sting etc.
On the other hand
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, working overtime
time
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 has a negative impact on our society and family relationship.person can't spend more
time
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 with their family members and spend a shorter
time
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 with their children.most probably
people
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 suffering from mental illness like stress and depression if one does not dedicate a certain amount of
time
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 for practising leisure
activities
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,be it indoor or outdoor. In conclusion, I believe that
people
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 must strike a balance between their profession and personal life.,
,,
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apply
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Linking Words
however
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,however
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 avoid being a victim of various
health
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 problems and create a healthy environment.
Submitted by naresh on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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