IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on the television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

A few countries are
Use synonyms
podcast
Use the right word
broadcasting
show examples
 the criminal trials to their residents to watch
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been a judge in the court. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive trend for the nation, and it could help reduce the crime rate. Criminal
justice
Fix capitalization
Justice
show examples
 is a
podcast
Use synonyms
 on TV that could remind the public
to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
 get involved in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime. The
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 has made from the
Use synonyms
trails
Use the right word
trials
show examples
 could be a real lesson for everyone who is trying to do the same thing.
For example
Linking Words
, the murderer who is sentenced to death
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
could be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 model case for everyone who does the same thing
will
Correct word choice
and will
show examples
be faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
Use synonyms
podcast
Replace the word
podcasting
show examples
 the criminal trail might reduce the crime rates for the nation.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 prevent error
trails
Use synonyms
 when the
judger
Use the right word
judge
show examples
 has made
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 mistake or wrong decision for both innocent criminals
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 serious criminals. Some
country's
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 law system is renewed to suit the new generation, so sometimes the
Use synonyms
trails
Use the right word
trials
show examples
are most
Rephrase
often
show examples
 fail
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the public's perspective. If the
Use synonyms
trails
Use the right word
trials
show examples
 can
Use synonyms
podcast
Verb problem
be podcast
show examples
 to the public so the voice from the public might affect the result and help the
judger
Use the right word
judge
show examples
 to make a good decision for both the criminal and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. Some country
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not
openly
Replace the word
open to
show examples
 the
trails
Use synonyms
, something has many
error
Fix the agreement mistake
errors
show examples
trails
Use synonyms
 and fail the perspective
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the public.
Therefore
Linking Words
, podcasting the whole judgement could let the public
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know the process and the result
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is beneficial for all. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 showing the
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 of criminal justice
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 TV seems to have more advantages.

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task response
Make a clear opening that states your view and what you will discuss.
task response
Show both sides: not only the good points but also the possible bad effects.
grammar
Use simple, correct words and fix common errors (trials, judge, sentenced).
coherence
Use linking words to tie ideas, like 'first', 'also', 'however', 'as a result'.
coherence
Give clearer examples with small facts or numbers to back up points.
coherence
Make each paragraph talk about one main idea and end with a clear sentence.
stance
The essay shows a clear view in favor of broadcasting trials.
content
The writer tries to use examples to explain the idea.
structure
There is some use of linking phrases to move ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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