Many people feel that zoos are beneficial for animals. Others feel that the animals should be free. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many authorities are working for the welfare of the

animals

and raising concern for their habitat. Most of the people are in the favour of keeping them in Zoos while remaining are in the opinion of leaving them uncaptured in a confined environment. I strongly believe that they should not be held in an artificial cage and rather be left alone in the jungle.

However

, we will through some light on the pros and cons of both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aspects.

To begin

with,

animals

are supposed to live in their own natural habitat and should not be interfered with their natural way of living which includes hunting their prey, migration etc.

Moreover

, Keeping them in a confined place can be against their natural well-being.

This

can be considered as a jail with humans visiting and invading their private space.

However

, the step of keeping them in Zoos was taken to save them from many illegal huntings and killings because of their assets

such

as horns, teeth, hair etc. which was rampant during earlier times and was a major cause of their decline. In fact, many species are considered as endangered

such

as elephants, Tiger etc. so an attempt has been made to preserve

aur

Correct your spelling

our

save them from getting extinct.

Additionally

, people buy tickets to visit zoos to witness

such

wild

animals

which help in raising the economy and circulating capital.

For instance

, it has been reported that the Government has collected 48 million

Change preposition

apply

show examples

funds from entry pass fees and tourism

last

year.

Therefore

, it will contribute to the growth of overall state income. In conclusion, I support that

animals

have the right to remain free in their natural state and should not be held in cages.

However

, their safety can only be ensured if kept behind bars with proper surveillance and care on a regular basis.

Submitted by shubhamkaushik1711 on Fri Feb 19 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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