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Band 6.5

It is observed that today communication between family members in today’s times is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or disagree?

#communication #members #today’s #times #people
It is often argued that it is
families
 these days are less connected to each other as compared to the past. I completely disagree
families
 nowadays have more quality
time
 rather in past and use many ways to communicate with each other. First of all, most individuals in recent years have decided to have a good
time
 with their
families
. Gathering with the family at the weekend is the most popular activity around the world. And it is the favourite
time
 for all family members.
For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that a lot of
people
 say family activity is the best option when they plan for their weekend. Family activities help relative and family communication and have quality
time
.
Secondly
, social
media
 makes communication easier than in the past.Have different options to connect with those you love either by in-person meeting or via social
media
. Development applications and effort options
such
 as video calls make connecting more joyful and a new experience.
For instance
, Some
people
 sometimes stay away from their
families
, so they can connect with them via social
media
.
To sum up
, I disagree with
people
 who argue that communication these days is less as compared to the past.
As a result
Add a comma
,
show examples
now,
people
 make sure they have a good
time
 with their
families
 at the weekend or on vacation and have an enjoyable activity for young and adults . Social
media
 offers many options to help family members connect with each other and have a good
time
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well. However, the logical structure could be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and adjusting the phrasing of some sentences for clarity.
task achievement
To enhance the task response, try to elaborate more on your arguments and provide further explanations or examples to deepen your points.
task achievement
Although your ideas are clear, some phrasing and grammar could be more precise. Paying attention to minor errors will make your essay more polished.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints and reinforces the main arguments of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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