IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, a variety of
cars
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 have been produced by companies
such
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 as old
cars
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 that
use
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 gas or
oil
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 and contemporary electric
cars
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.
While
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cars
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 that
use
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oil
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 are cheap and widely available, they should be stopped to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. I completely agree that vehicles that
use
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 natural
oil
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 must be suspended, and electric
cars
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 should be promoted because they are environmentally friendly, and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have low running costs. Electric
cars
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 are environmentally friendly. They do not emit greenhouse gases
such
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 as carbon dioxide and nitric oxide which increase global warming.
On the other hand
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,
cars
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 that
use
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 natural gas release many toxic elements
such
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 as sulphur dioxide, hydrocarbons and methane that pollute the environment.
For example
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, studies demonstrated that electric
cars
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 emit only 5% of hazardous gas into the atmosphere compared to
cars
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 that
use
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petrol
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 which releases 85%. Electric
cars
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 have fewer running costs than
cars
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 that
use
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petrol
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. People can charge electric
cars
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 at home using modern charge switches.
As a result
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, people can save money by not going to
petrol
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 stations.
Furthermore
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, electric
cars
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 do not require changing
oil
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 filters every year.
For instance
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,
cars
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 that
use
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petrol
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 need replacement old
oil
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 every six months or annually, which increases the running cost of the car. In conclusion, people have different views regarding substituting the
cars
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 that
use
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petrol
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 with electric
cars
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. In my opinion, electric vehicles must be promoted as they preserve the natural atmosphere and have low daily costs.
Submitted by ttesfalove on

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task achievement
Try to develop some of your points further, providing additional depth or examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. They do not largely impact comprehension but can be improved for a clearer essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant and well-supported by examples.
coherence cohesion
You logically structured your arguments, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
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