The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
In contemporary society, government funding has consistently been the topic of interest among the masses.
While
there are compelling arguments in favour of that rather than distributing budgets in the art industry, the governments
should invest this
money in public services, there are also
significant reasons to approach it with scepticism. Despite recognizing the merits and drawbacks behind the viewpoint, I am inclined to oppose this
perspective, as I believe our community need the power of arts and music.
It is clear that
numerous students now will choose computer science,physics or pharmacy as their major subject, instead
of arts, acting or composition, because the salaries for artists
, not famous actors and musicians are not stable at all. Obviously, people
who work in the creative industry need government subsidies to maintain their standard of living. It can not be denied that sometimes the public cannot understand the meanings behind the paintings and songs, and think of how better if governments
use those allowances to improve public transportation, children's education or urban planning. It is therefore
reasonable that some people
blame terrible public services on governments
giving too much help to artists
.
However
, the aforementioned perspectives overlook that creativity
and imagination play a vital role in the human community. For example
, the revolutionary invention of artificial intelligence ChatGPT was born on creativity
, if inventors had not thought outside the box, human civilization could not have improved so quickly. Additionally
, creativity
can be a serious business, some scientists highlighted that rhythms and colourful paintings will enhance people
's physical and mental health and recover more quickly from illness. Thus
, it is vital for governments
to support those creative artists
, musicians and actors and provide them opportunities to share their experiences and life journies with the public. Such
instances challenge the initial assertion, underscore the complexity of the perspective and support that it is important to lend hands to artists
, otherwise
, people
's development will slow down.
In conclusion, reflecting upon the point of view that governments
should invest the majority of budgets in public services instead
of helping people
work in the creative industry. While
countries' infrastructures are important, it is crucial to acknowledge that human society needs creativity
to improve and increase well-being. Given these considerations, my allegiance that I disagree with the perspective is steadfastly consolidated and incontrovertibly firm.Submitted by jasmine2001tw on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a more consistent logical flow throughout the essay. Some paragraphs may benefit from clearer topic sentences and smoother transitions.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced by providing a clearer thesis statement and summarizing the main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more specific and diverse examples to strengthen the argument. Avoid vague statements.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt, making sure to discuss the extent of agreement or disagreement explicitly.
task achievement
Expand upon each idea comprehensively, allowing for a detailed examination of the topic at hand.
task achievement
Incorporate more targeted examples directly related to the prompt to support your ideas and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example