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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that a sense of competition should be encouraged in children. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Due to an increase in
competition
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, children are expected to compete with
others
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 of their age. Few people encourage a sense of
competition
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 in them while many are against
this
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 concept and teach a principle of cooperating with
others
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 rather than engaging in a
competition
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. I personally agree with the latter part,
however
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, we will through some light on both points.
To begin
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 with, people are designed to compete as nature has made us a survival of the fittest.
Therefore
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,
competition
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 helps to raise a bar and pushes to perform with an envious thought of getting better results.
However
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, children are expected to perform well and outshine
others
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 of their age.
Therefore
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, they are subjected to constant stress and the responsibility of performing better.
For instance
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, students in school are expected to get good marks and often compared with
others
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 who have scored more.
This
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 can have an adverse effect on a child's psychology and cause mental issues.
On the contrary
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, they should be taught high moral values which include a sense of selflessness and should be asked to give their best with an assurance that they will not be compared or evaluated.
This
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 can help in the restoration of their self-esteem and
further
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, enhance their potential in the kind of activity they like the most. To sum up,
competition
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 can help to develop a habit of outshining and raise a bar.
However
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,
this
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 habit can not only alleviate the self-esteem of a child but
also
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 affects confidence. Rather, values of cooperation and helpful nature should be developed which contributes to becoming a better person in future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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