Some people think that Zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed however other say that Zoos are useful to protect their animals discuss both views and give your own
A few individuals think that
zoos
are man made
house of Add a hyphen
man-made
animals
and treated poorly. While other folks discuss that zoos
helps
to protect Change the verb form
help
animals
from extinction
. I believe that it must to
conserve Change the verb form
apply
animals
from extinction
and zoos
contribute efforts in
to save endangered Change preposition
apply
animals
. To begin
with
some Add a comma
,with
of
Change preposition
apply
Zoos
treating Add an article
the Zoos
animals
with no care they are just exploiting them. The animals
kept in cages whole
time and not free to move just because of Correct article usage
the whole
slightly
space they get tortured by the zookeeper. The Correct article usage
the slightly
animals
get physically weak because of lack of food Which is not giving byAdd an article
the
care taker
. Correct your spelling
caretaker
Zoos
Force animals
to entertain crowd
and get fall sick . Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
Furthermore
they get sold in Add a comma
,Furthermore
black
market illegally for Add an article
the black
couple
of money without any permission from officialsChange the article
a couple
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
for example
venomous snakes get exploited against the law because their venom is very expensive and souls at very
fast rate . Like black mamba species get and endangered because of Add an article
a very
law breaking
business. Add a hyphen
law-breaking
On the other
hand
there are many parks and Add a comma
,hand
zoos
to protect the existence of endangered animals
and birds. The rare animals
are kept in protected
area because to breed and make Add an article
a protected
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
in
increase in their account. If Change preposition
apply
if
Remove the redundancy
apply
animals
free to live in natural habit date they get danger because of urbanisation and inevitably to extinction
. Zoos
also
helps
Change the verb form
help
animals
to make safe
from hunters. Some organisations Correct pronoun usage
them safe
also
working with zoos
to save the extent
Correct your spelling
extant
species
by spreading Change preposition
of species
healthy
environment . Good example Bengal tiger is saved from Correct article usage
a healthy
extinction
by zoos
and help to raise the number of 15 hunderd
in Correct your spelling
hundred
few
years they were killed because of their skin and teeth it all Add an article
a few
also
done in captivity . In conclusion , Zoo helps a lot to conserve count off endangered species but some of animals
Add an article
the animals
faces
cruelty because of greedy people and they need to punished by the authoritiesChange the verb form
face
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite