IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future . Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#space #travel #time #people #tourism #future #development
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Lack of interest of
children
 in current affairs has been fairly common in most countries around the world. Only
few
Change the article
a few
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youth
Change to a plural noun
youths
show examples
 are becoming up-to-date with the latest headlines in the newspapers or on TV. I believe
this
 in connection with the short attention span of the young nowadays. A key reason why
children
 lose interest in reading or watching
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 can be attributed to their attention span. Several studies suggest that with the emergence of technologies in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years, wherein everything we intend to know is easily accessible, the attention
time
 of
children
 has decreased dramatically especially for activities that
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 limited action and thinking. Since reading newspapers requires a certain amount of
time
, young people will surely become interrupted while reading long articles.
Similarly
, when watching
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 on TV, it is broadcasted in a considerable
time
 which might keep them unoccupied to the activity.
Youth
's interest,
however
, is not difficult to capture. They are easily mesmerized with
enaging
Correct your spelling
engaging
 activities or attractive concepts. In fact, most newspapers already include a section of crossword puzzles that they can work with while reading.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, if we want to engage more the
youth
 in becoming aware of the news, perhaps, we can make use of technology in order to penetrate their interests with the subject. Nowadays, a lot of articles are found online, even
in
Change preposition
on
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 most social media sites. Some channels are
also
 broadcasted live or uploaded as videos so they can access
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 whenever they want. In these ways, we are able to influence the
youth
 through the platforms that they are more
familar
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with. In conclusion, it is quite a challenge in the present
time
 on how
youth
 can be more engaged with the recent happenings in the world.
Although
 the development of technologies has been identified to be the reason
of
Change preposition
apply
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why
attentiveness
Correct article usage
the attentiveness
show examples
 of
children
 has
shorten
Change the verb form
shortened
show examples
 over
time
, it can
also
 be maximized as a platform to engage more the
youth
 about current headlines.
Submitted by christinejoyce.beltran on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
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