It Is Common For More And More People To Become Famous At A Very Young Age. Is it a positive or negative development?

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Introduction

this

Linking Words

age of the internet and social

media

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,media

show examples

anyone who is

camera friendly

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camera-friendly

show examples

and has a little bit of talent can become

celebrities

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overnight. While it is true that instant

fame

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benefits young

people

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in many ways, in my opinion, it is largely detrimental.

Body paragraph 1

Famous

people

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enjoy many benefits. They are always in the news and surrounded by fans wherever they go.

This

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relentless attention certainly gives them an ego boost and makes them feel more important. Another advantage is that

fame

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almost always leads to wealth.

Celebrities

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can monetize their popularity and live life king size. They can buy whatever they want without taking costs into consideration. They have

people

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constantly at their beck and call. These are certainly advantages.

Body paragraph 2

Yet, in my opinion,

this

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is largely a negative development. For the sake of attracting more viewers /

eyeballs

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,eyeballs

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media often give undue coverage to celebrity gossips and affairs and

this

Linking Words

exerts tremendous pressure on them. The teen

celebrities

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themselves are under too much pressure to maintain the brand image. To look more attractive many of them go under the knife. They may

also

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resort to other gimmicks to stay in news. The pressure to maintain stardom often leads these youngsters to

wrong

Correct article usage

the wrong

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ways

such

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as drug addiction.

Also

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, when

people

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achieve too much

fame

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at a young age, they often fail to understand the value of hard work. They do not realize that their success is more due to luck than talent or hard work. Instant

fame

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usually does not

last

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long. When overnight

celebrities

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become ordinary

people

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after one or two years, they often fall into depression and some even commit suicide.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the opportunity to achieve instant

fame

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is usually bad for young

people

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as many of them have difficulty coping with the newfound stardom

sumani.rajput1994

Feb 20, 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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It Is Common For More And More People To Become Famous At A Very Young Age. Is it a positive or negative development?

Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.