Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

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It is believed that
money
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is a contributing factor to
happiness
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because people buy what they want when they have the means to. I think that without
this
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means, individuals can attain
happiness
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through other factors
such
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as their relationships with their loved ones.
Money
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became a crucial part of people’s lives. It became the benefactor of people’s
happiness
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due to its sustenance for it gives them their daily basic needs and their desires. These achievements feed their egotistical behaviour, increasing their self-esteem.
For instance
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, studies showed that human beings are driven to work hard because of the salary for it provides food on the table, clothes them, and builds their houses. The routine of getting
money
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and being rewarded with anything that humans buy increases their morale,
hence
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making them happy.
On the other hand
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, humankind has the capability of acquiring
happiness
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even though they have lesser
money
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. It is not solely caused by income for
this
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comes from within. It is motivated by several factors, one of which would be their relationships with their loved ones. Families and friends reciprocate feelings of love and care that produces dopamine, the happy hormone.
For example
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, research showed that 83% of individuals who are feeling good about themselves, who are feeling loved and who are sharing their love with their significant others tend to have higher dopamine levels compared to that of humans whose
happiness
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were driven by
money
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. In conclusion, humankind has different sources of
happiness
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and to some,
money
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is the most essential one. Others acquire higher dopamine levels through compassion and relationships given by their families and friends.
Submitted by justinedanillee on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promoting happiness
  • Essential factors
  • Financial stability
  • Material wealth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Contentment
  • Basic needs
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Social connections
  • Pursuing passions
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Spiritual practices
  • Personal growth
  • Community service
  • Societal contribution
  • Philanthropy
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Prosperity
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