IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter Say what experience you have Ask what the work involves Enquire about conditions

#advertisement #work #hotel #three #months #summer #manager #enquire #conditions
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to apply for the part-time work in a hotel, advertised by the human resources department on the Indeed platform.
Firstly
, I would like to start with my qualifications of a Master's in Hotel Management and three years of experience as a supervisor, which prove me a good fit for
this
 position,
however
, my previous work location was far from my home.
Thus
, I quit the job.
Secondly
, I would like to know more about the work responsibilities, position available, timings, and salary packages, as well, I
also
 want to get an idea more about the vacations, sick leaves, and lunch breaks.
Lastly
, I would request you to send me all the terms and conditions, which I need to read before starting the job, I am waiting for your reply to the Interview meeting and, I am available to start as soon as possible. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, John Smith
Submitted by hkaur14165 on

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task achievement
While you provided relevant information regarding your qualifications and inquiries about the job, it would be helpful to elaborate a bit more on your skills and how they align with the job requirements. Additionally, make sure to organize the paragraphs slightly better to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Connecting sentences smoothly and avoiding overly complex sentences would improve clarity and flow. This will make the letter more coherent and easier to follow for the reader.
greeting and closing
Your politeness and clarity in addressing the manager and requesting details about the job are well-done. Also, the closing is very professional and courteous.
single idea per paragraph
Your letter is generally well-organized with coherent paragraphs that cover separate points. This makes it easy for the reader to understand each part of your application and inquiry.
suitable writing tone
Your writing tone is suitable and professional for a job application letter, which creates a good impression.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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