Some people think that some types of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?
Few people argue that a section of
criminals
should provide free service to society
rather than going to Jail. I fully agree with this
opinion, and I believe that this
approach will help criminals
to start a new life in the community.
When criminals
are sent to prison, they will simply spend time without knowing what they should actually do after going back to society
. For example
, it is difficult for them to get a job due to
a lack of skill set and guidance to restart life with a positive mindset. Due to
this
, the criminals
resume crimes when they are out.
Imprisonment is not the correct way to punish all criminals
. Few need the right lessons,
before they go back to the company so that they will work and gain respect from Remove the comma
apply
society
. Prisoners when providing free services to the community will help them understand the worth of hard work and satisfaction. For example
, a criminal when given an opportunity to clean the waste on roads will help them understand the way to live better, instead
of sending him to prison and providing a free meal. Moreover
, when a criminal is sent to Jail, he will meet the
new Correct article usage
apply
criminals
of the same mindset which will increase the tendency to make
more crimes.
In conclusion, certain demographics of Verb problem
commit
society
believe that criminals
should be used in free community services, instead
of sending them to prison. I totally agree with this
view as this
will give them a second to
chance to live their life in Change preposition
apply
society
with respect.Submitted by jj on
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task response
The essay does not fully address the task. It provides some supporting points but does not address any contrasting views or potential drawbacks. The essay should clearly present an argument and discuss both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is unclear and lacks a clear thesis statement. The conclusion is too brief and does not effectively summarize the main points of the essay. Additionally, the logical structure of the essay could be improved to enhance coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite