Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that
parents
Use synonyms
should
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
their kids to do
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
instead
Linking Words
of spending more
time
Use synonyms
studying. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
somewhat agree with
this
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that both education and sport are important.
First
Linking Words
of all, these days, the
parents
Use synonyms
may realize that their
children
Use synonyms
spend some of their
time
Use synonyms
at home doing various works including studying. So, they encourage them to spend more
time
Use synonyms
doing exercises. One of the main reasons can be that nowadays
children
Use synonyms
can gain weight,less communication with people, or having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
weak health.
This
Linking Words
means that they could manage their
time
Use synonyms
and do physical activities. Another reason can be that
children
Use synonyms
can have a variety of works during that day
beside
Verify preposition usage
besides
show examples
studying.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Change the article
the
show examples
latest research showed that
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
routine may not develop
the
Change the article
a
show examples
person's personality.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
possible to make the opposing case that studying is the basic of the
children
Use synonyms
too, and
parents
Use synonyms
have to be aware of
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
. One of the major reasons can be that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education these days is necessary for
children
Use synonyms
and for their future. The
second
Linking Words
point is that
children
Use synonyms
might addict
sports
Change preposition
to sports
show examples
and become careless about studying. A particularly good example here is that some recent statistics showed that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
football
Add an article
the football
show examples
players were having low marks in high school because of spending more
time
Use synonyms
playing soccer during their childhood. To sum up, while some people believe that
parents
Use synonyms
should promote their
children
Use synonyms
to exercise,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that both education and sports are important.
Submitted by Mariam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: