IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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The table given illustrates the number of
people
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 who visited
Ashdown
Correct article usage
the Ashdown
show examples
Museum
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 the year before and after the refurbishment of the
museum
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, two pie charts show the result of surveys of visitor satisfaction during similar periods. Overall,the number of
people
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 visiting
Ashdown
Correct article usage
the Ashdown
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 increased after being renovated. In terms of
people
Use synonyms
’s feelings about their visits,The majority of
people
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 were dissatisfied to some extends with their experience before changes.
By contrast
Linking Words
 the
proportion
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 of
visitors
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 satisfied and very satisfied with their experience of visiting it
ofbecause
Correct your spelling
because
 the largest
proportion
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 of surveyed
visitors
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 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
proportion
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 of
people
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 who didn’t respond to the survey remained unchanged. Ashdown
Museum
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 welcomed 74,000
visitors
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 before refurbishment while it
gaing
Correct your spelling
gaining
gains
 more popularity and 92,000
people
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 visited it when it became refurbished. In terms of positive feedback, the
nember
Correct your spelling
number
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who were satisfied with their visits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
Ashdown
Ashdow
Correct article usage
the Ashdow
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 decreased from 30% to 40%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
proportion
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 of very satisfied
people
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 were only 15% which rose by 20 per cent
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and
reache
Correct your spelling
reached
reach
 35% .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 5% of
people
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 did not respond to the survey in both years. Looking at negative responses, the highest percentage of
visitors
Use synonyms
 were very dissatisfied with their visits(40%) .
This
Linking Words
 figure fell by 25% after changes that were made to the
museum
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 and included only 15% of all
visitors
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. The
proportion
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 of dissatisfied individuals decreased from 10% to 5% the year after refurbishment.
Submitted by suna.habibi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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