Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Cosmopolitan countries or the countries that promote an inter-cultural environment are the pictures of today's era.

Moreover

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, it helps a

country

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to build its economy stronger. I am inclined towards the aforementioned statement. As it brings more opportunities for society to learn things

are

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at are

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global level.

This

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essay will share my viewpoints about it with a few examples.

Firstly

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, if a

country

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encourages a multicultural society, it opens up a gate for other

people

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to come and work for the

country

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. Ultimately, it helps the whole

country

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to grow along with the citizen.

For instance

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Canada

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is one of the biggest examples As the government of

Canada

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is looking forward to taking approximately four lakh

people

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this

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year.

Moreover

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, there is

Correct article usage

apply

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criteria

Change the noun form

criterion

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to get a permanent resident of

Canada

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. And that's they make sure quality of professional are coming which will help them to grow.

Secondly

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, because if

this

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new trend community

also

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learn to live with new

people

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from different cultures. And it

also

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helps an individual to adapt to a different culture. It is

also

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beneficial for the citizen of that

country

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who are travelling to another nation.

Thirdly

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, It brings foreign investment to the

country

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. Because of the frequent travel of different

people

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in the

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apply

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country

Add a comma

,country

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it indirectly benefits the networking system.

For example

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, In

Canada

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because of Multicultural society, companies are now investing as they know they will get the best of the employees. Because as I mentioned above that a candidate who is interested in permanent resident have to pass IELTS and must have a level of education.

Finally

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people

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become more open-minded and there is no

such

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negative thinking as racism and casteism. It is the most imperative thing for a

country

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and for the community as well. To conclude,

this

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essay has shared my viewpoints and gave reasons as well. I believe, every government should promote it. Every

country

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must have new policies to set

this

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culture. It will help the whole world to grow at a rapid pace.

Submitted by akshayshrivastava1992 on Tue Feb 23 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

337 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multiculturalism
cultural diversity
economic prosperity
social cohesion
integration
cultural assimilation
ethnic diversity
cultural exchange
global influence
inclusive governance

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Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past, most people lived in the small village where everyone knew every else. Nowadays, most people live in the large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

Parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well anbd give them a better environment for growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn.