Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Cosmopolitan countries or the countries that promote an inter-cultural environment are the pictures of today's era.

Moreover

, it helps a

country

to build its economy stronger. I am inclined towards the aforementioned statement. As it brings more opportunities for society to learn things

are

Change preposition

at are

show examples

global level.

This

essay will share my viewpoints about it with a few examples.

Firstly

, if a

country

encourages a multicultural society, it opens up a gate for other

people

to come and work for the

country

. Ultimately, it helps the whole

country

to grow along with the citizen.

For instance

Canada

is one of the biggest examples As the government of

Canada

is looking forward to taking approximately four lakh

people

this

year.

Moreover

, there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criteria

Change the noun form

criterion

show examples

to get a permanent resident of

Canada

. And that's they make sure quality of professional are coming which will help them to grow.

Secondly

, because if

this

new trend community

also

learn to live with new

people

from different cultures. And it

also

helps an individual to adapt to a different culture. It is

also

beneficial for the citizen of that

country

who are travelling to another nation.

Thirdly

, It brings foreign investment to the

country

. Because of the frequent travel of different

people

in the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

country

Add a comma

,country

show examples

it indirectly benefits the networking system.

For example

, In

Canada

because of Multicultural society, companies are now investing as they know they will get the best of the employees. Because as I mentioned above that a candidate who is interested in permanent resident have to pass IELTS and must have a level of education.

Finally

people

become more open-minded and there is no

such

negative thinking as racism and casteism. It is the most imperative thing for a

country

and for the community as well. To conclude,

this

essay has shared my viewpoints and gave reasons as well. I believe, every government should promote it. Every

country

must have new policies to set

this

culture. It will help the whole world to grow at a rapid pace.

Submitted by akshayshrivastava1992 on Tue Feb 23 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

multiculturalism
cultural diversity
economic prosperity
social cohesion
integration
cultural assimilation
ethnic diversity
cultural exchange
global influence
inclusive governance

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Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say history is one of the most important subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone chould follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact in our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

topics: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree

financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. to what extent do you agree or disagree?