Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
world, the presence of
competition
is constantly on the rise.
Moreover
, many believe it should be more encouraged among
the
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apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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children.
However
, there is a belief that
instead
of
competition
the kids should be stimulated with the concept of
co-operation
. I support the latter part of the argument,
however
, I will through some light on
both
statements.
To begin
with, toddlers who are encouraged to be more competitive might become more confident in themselves but might grow into envious and jealous people.
For instance
, they might not be able to endure defeat on
both
a professional and personal level.
Therefore
, the
competition
should be promoted as it positively affects the results in the fields of sports and science, but it should be moderated.
On the other hand
,
co-operation
is becoming more important in everyday life.
Therefore
, throughout various activities, kids are being slowly introduced and encouraged to co-operate with each other.
This
leads to a sense of belonging in a community and making friends, a skill that will make them happier and more useful adults.
Therefore
,
co-operation
should be encouraged through the educational programs, but even
more
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by the parents threw conversation and activities. To conclude,
both
concepts have their merits and
short
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shortly

The adjective short is modifying comes instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

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comes in terms of creating a personality, mindset, and adulthood in general. Albeit the sense of
competition
has a great contribution in the field of sports, it might not have the best outcome in the everyday life where the capability of efficient
co-operation
shows in everyday situations.
However
, it appears to be me that
both
should be encouraged but moderated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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