Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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People hold different views about whether family members have a critical impact on offspring's improvement or

other

Correct word choice

whether other

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influences are more essential . I firmly believe that family may contribute to their

children

Use synonyms

's development rather than others. On the one hand, it is argued that

Remove the comma

apply

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other factors

such

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as school,

friends

Use synonyms

and teachers change teenagers' lives.

Firstly

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children

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spend most of their time in school around

friends

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or teachers , and

for

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this

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reason, there are chances for being influenced.

For instance

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, during a lesson, a teacher elaborates vast amounts of ideas, topics and thoughts about distinctive themes and it leads to some changes or improvements for students.

Furthermore

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, psychology says that the surroundings of a child have a big impact on him or her because in the teenage

years

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years,

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they prefer their

friends

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' approval of their families.

For example

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, if their

friends

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are capable, intelligent and hardworking they

also

Linking Words

are the same with their help ,

otherwise

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, youth can be influenced by dangerous or invalid behaviours

such

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as bullying and violence which leads to detrimental consequences.

On the other hand

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, l agree with those who believe that relatives are more likely to impact their younger generations.

Above all

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, it is irrefutable that youngsters' characters are made based on the way in which they grow up. To illustrate

this

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, if someone sees violence in a family he will be the same as them because they think it is the right way.

In contrast

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, if they are brought up in peace and honesty they will not tend to be villains.

Additionally

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, research shows that, if family members support their

children

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financially and emotionally they will be more successful with their help . In conclusion,

although

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it is thought by some that others have a powerful influence on

children

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's development, l believe that family play a crucial role in their child's improvement.

Submitted by nezerli.x12 on Mon Sep 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Though each paragraph is reasonably well-organized, some transitions could be smoother for better overall coherence.

task achievement

Strengthen your main points with additional relevant and specific examples. While the essay does provide some examples, more variety and detail would add depth to your arguments.

task achievement

Work on expanding your vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity and precision. Some sentences are slightly repetitive or could be phrased more effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which succinctly summarize the main points discussed.

task achievement

The task response is comprehensive, addressing both sides of the argument and providing a clear stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What is the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?