In many parts of the world today, there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people skin. Outline the reason for using such products, and discuss what effect they have in term of health and Society?

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The curiosity of lightning or whitening the

skin

is mainly amongst the Asian

people

, and they spent a lot on

such

products

which help to change the

skin

tone.

This

essay will examine the reasons, why

people

use these

products

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and would discuss the effects

this

has on

people

health and Society. The

first

and the foremost reason, using

such

products

people

desire more whiten

skin

rather than darkens. To understand

this

, we have to look back at the history of the Asian civilization in which higher status tended to stay indoors whilst

people

of low status worked outside, usually farming. As a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

result those

people

who were indoor has much lighter

skin

than dark-

skin

, and to break

this

belief system

people

use beauty

products

so that they had look similar.

However

, despite it has numerous benefits, but it has some detrimental effects

also

, with the higher use of

this

artificial material they directly come in contact with steroids which causes serious problems,

such

skin

cancer, swelling, speckled

skin

Moreover

, some take sittings for plastic surgeries, which tighten and brighten the

skin

for a particular time, and long time consequences are very harsh.

For example

, most film industry stars are using the artificial method to look stunning, and later ,on they face serious health issues, as well as looking old age earlier than in-common.

Thus

, it has long-term side effects than short-term resolutions.

Furthermore

, it develops discrimination between the

people

who looks dark, and the feeling of inferiority complex has been coming mind, in spite of

this

, it leads to the mindset of the

people

that whiten always looks better than others. Whereas, it is not true as it depends on the features of the person.

Hence

, it has a greater impact on the social life of individuals with a dark tone. In Conclusion, the

products

only enriching the business of Manufacturers, and users of

such

products

only getting temporary benefits, with putting their life at risk by opening several ways to serious health issues, and

also

delivering the wrong message to society that colour matters more than the character and natural colour gifted by nature.

Submitted by naresh on Tue Feb 23 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many parts of the world today, there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people skin. Outline the reason for using such products, and discuss what effect they have in term of health and Society?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. in your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?

The widespread of the Internet gives people more freedom to work and study at home instead of traveling to office and school. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and disccuss your opinion.

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?