IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
In
this
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 we all
use
 social media to get updated with the world . so every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 have pros and cons so
its
Change the pronoun
they
it
show examples
 depend on us how we
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
things
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
in a good manner or in a bad manner . so
toady
Correct your spelling
today
show examples
 here
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both advantages and disadvantages of
advertisement
 in
this
 world.
firstly
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 talk about t the advantages so when we see the
advertisement
this
 helps us to know about
things
 and helps us how to
use
this
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
things
 and how
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 work so
this
 is
helpful
Add an article
a helpful
show examples
 way to learn
abut
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 new products.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 we see the
advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any washing machine they show us that machine is good for that loads we
use
 that much detergent to wash that type of clothes
also
show
Change the verb form
shows
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 the time period like 60 minutes . so from
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 we make guess that its good for us like a small family and they buy that machine rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 get
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 one. so we all know that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some disadvantages of
advertisement
 like when there is any new phones
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 market they show
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 if phones quality and youngsters try to get new phones . they bother there mom dad to get
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 phone some of the middle family
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have that much money to buy expensive
things
 and they take some wrong steps to get that . they
also
 go away from there studies and
also
 effect there eyesight bu using phone
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 day . so
at
Add the comma(s)
, at last,
show examples
last
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 just wanna say that always tries
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
things
 which is helpful for us . And make our life easier and always get
Add an article
an update
show examples
update
Correct your spelling
updated
show examples
 with new
tecknowledgy
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
.
Submitted by Kamal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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