Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past 4 years. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

We have observed a lot of progress in medicine
due to
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the advancements in technology
,
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recently. One of the positive effects of
this
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phenomenon has been a longer lifetime during the past 4 years. In my opinion, the benefits of
this
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fact are more than the drawbacks. In
this
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essay, I am going to clarify both aspects. A longer lifespan can have significant positive impacts on societies, older people and their families.
For example
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, it provides opportunities for older adults to travel after their retirement. They can experience more joyful moments, which help them to improve their mood and the quality of their life.
Furthermore
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, the older generation has more time on their hands.
Therefore
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, they can support their family members in taking care of and
upbringing
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upbring
their grandchildren.
Hence
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, their children can be more successful at work.
Finally
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, seniors can be considered as assets of society. Because they have valuable experiences in their field to guide younger generations and lead
the
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society to a more brilliant future.
On the other hand
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, apart from the positive points mentioned, higher longevity can have some negative points.
For instance
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, elderly people often require special care and attention
due to
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their reduced ability to do their daily activities, so a lot of workforce is hired to help them, and these younger groups cannot be so effective in other fields for their own country.
Similarly
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, governments must have to consider more budget for meeting older people’s needs,
such
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as their medications, which can lead to high annual expenses and may limit investments in other areas. In conclusion,
although
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sometimes governments are forced to struggle with elderly people’s difficulties, the existence of older adults is so precious for different parts of the country, and we have to appreciate them a lot for all their efforts.

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task
Make your view clear in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a strong idea sentence and keep links simple.
content
Use more facts or numbers to back up points, not only ideas.
grammar
Check small grammar and use easy, correct form.
strength
Your view on the good side is clear.
strength
Two sides are shown, which makes the view balanced.
strength
The essay is easy to read and the order is clear.
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