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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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In
this
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 era of advancement in medical technology, numerous people are living longer than before,
hence
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 many of them think that the withdrawal
age
Use synonyms
 must be escalated reasonably.
However
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, in
this
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 essay, I would like to explain the advantageous points in support of my opinion that; Yes the person must be given more years to work.
Firstly
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, as the living standard, air quality and medical facilities are proliferating in a beneficial way, the life span of an individual has been increased, so as the old
age
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 duration. The negative aspect of
this
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 is mushrooming depression in the jobless old
age
Use synonyms
 population.
Nevertheless
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, the work would definitely keep them busy, abate the mental anxiety and emptiness of mind,
then
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 social circle in their lives.
This
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 will be a great help for them to cope up,
hence
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 considered positively.
Secondly
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, a number of senior citizens, in their later stage of lives, becomes financially poor and unable to fulfil their day to day expenses.
As a result
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 of
this
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, they are bound to depend on their children or caretaker and maximally exposed to mental as well as physical exploitation. To lessen the impact of these factors elderly people must be allowed to work beyond their retirement
age
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, they should be supported by giving light and smooth job as per their physical capability. To conclude, I would like to say that the advantages of enhancing the retirement
age
Use synonyms
 are several and absolutely supportive of the old people. They may find, financial freedom, new friends of their
age
Use synonyms
 and that's how they can set up a support group for themselves, which will be a vital aspect for their beings. Their minds will be nourished by providing them with the opportunity to think that they are still useful for society.
Hence
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 I strongly support the statement, that
age
Use synonyms
 of retirement should be stretched
furthermore
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.
Submitted by drvaishalikhare on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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