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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development
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In the
next
Linking Words
 century,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 will happen in many regions around the world. It is a tendency to believe that
people
Use synonyms
 will live longer than usual in the near
future
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,
that is
Linking Words
, there will be more older
people
Use synonyms
 than younger
people
Use synonyms
 affected by advanced technology as well as science and healthcare nowadays. According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent research, many researchers in healthcare departments always discover
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new knowledge about treatments to cure novel diseases
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 harm all patients.
For example
Linking Words
, advanced technologies and medical industries had
led
Verify preposition usage
toled
show examples
 the breakthrough in healthcare systems to make
people
Use synonyms
 stay healthy. To keep
people
Use synonyms
 well-being, the education systems are now improving the knowledge about health development in schools to educate the children about healthy lifestyles at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 younger age. These reasons bring the trends of longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 to the current world.
At
Change preposition
From
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point of view, the
future
Use synonyms
 society will be changed in recent decades. The more the elderly live longer, the more extended families have to sacrifice.
For instance
Linking Words
, it cannot deny that most of the elderly are vulnerable. They need more care from younger
people
Use synonyms
 and some families may need to sacrifice their
life
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 and income to take care of them.
However
Linking Words
, the longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 now proved that
people
Use synonyms
 are become
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 without losing their experiences of their workplaces after they retired. In conclusion, there are various benefits and drawbacks of longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 trends that will soon happen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend may challenge us to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways to adapt ourselves in the
future
Use synonyms
 society, and there will be a positive development in our society to live in
this
Linking Words
future
Use synonyms
 trend.
Besides
Linking Words
, an increase
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 to solve these problems will happen to ensure that older
people
Use synonyms
 can live with younger
people
Use synonyms
 in effective ways.
Submitted by noppapat_k on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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