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Band 7

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
In contemporary society, more
people
 have chosen to
work
 independently
instead
 of having a job in a company or enterprise. The causes of
this
 phenomenon are various and being self-employed has both upsides and downsides. With the pressure at
work
 increasing and the competition among fellows boosting, one of the main problems which
people
 are facing nowadays is the instability of their occupation. In some companies, if an employee fails to meet the required deadline or workload, they risk being fired. So, if they choose to be self-employed, they wouldn’t have to worry about losing their job.
In addition
, self-employed jobs are more flexible on time schedules. In normal
work
, employees need to
work
according to
 a clear schedule, which includes on and off
work
 and rest times, it could be bothering since employees cannot
work
 at their own pace.
However
,
people
 can manage their time when it comes to self-employed
work
.
For example
, when a long-term problem comes across, self-employed workers can respond to it quickly, but a normal worker would have to ask for permission to leave their working spot, which could be quite inconvenient. On the downside, being self-employed could
also
 bring some problems. The most obvious and common one is low efficiency at
work
 which leads
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of self-discipline. Usually,
people
 will be more motivated and effective when in a competitive environment.
However
, the competition among colleagues is what self-employed
work
 is short of.
Therefore
, the
work
 efficiency and results of self-employed
work
 may not necessarily be satisfactory.
On the other hand
, there will be fewer opportunities for self-employed
people
, since working in a company could undoubtedly provide workers a much bigger platform than themselves.
To conclude
, despite the drawbacks that self-employed
work
 might bring, there are reasons self-employment has become a social trend.
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task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to illustrate your points. Adding more concrete examples would strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
task achievement
Try to ensure your ideas are clearly expressed and elaborate on them in a more comprehensive way. Some points can be expanded to add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow of your essay. Some sections feel slightly disconnected. Use more connective words and phrases to link ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully supports the main idea with adequate explanation and evidence. This will help in enhancing coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader to follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task, discussing both the reasons for the trend and the disadvantages, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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