IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history of their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #interest #gain
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In the current day world, kids grow up to
listneing
Correct your spelling
listening
 music and watching movies on television or phone
moreover
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 they try to copy their lifestyle and
hence
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 in doing so they remember their name by following them on daily basis.
Firstly
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, my essay will talk about the various reason why people remember celebrities and ignore
Use synonyms
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of their own country.
Secondly
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, what can be done to create more interest among them.
To begin
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 with, when
history
Use synonyms
 is taught in school, people look forward to it as
mere
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a mere
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 subject where scoring passing grades is enough whereas the same student
show
Change the verb form
shows
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 more interest in what they see and hear on the phone & social media where
history
Use synonyms
 is never talked about.
For example
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, Trips arranged by the schools and colleges are often to Disneyland or some fun commercial space but not
on
Verify preposition usage
in
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 a historical place where kids can learn more about the past.
On the contrary
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, to create more interest teachers should take
intiative
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initiative
 where
history
Use synonyms
 is taught in
more
Add an article
a more
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 meaningful way by introducing various
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the class itself.
Picinics
Correct your spelling
Picnics
 can be planned on
heritage
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a heritage
the heritage
show examples
 site where students are asked to prepare presentations. Every now and
then
Linking Words
 screenings of famous videos and movies relating
old
Change preposition
to old
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 narratives can be shown.
For example
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, Fresher are asked to enact the play on war stories where
every one
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everyone
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 has to play
certain
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a certain
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 character.
Such
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 things will not only enlighten about old records but will
also
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 serve as
memory
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a memory
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 of
lifetime
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a lifetime
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. To conclude, due to lack of exposure
indiviuals
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individuals
individual
 have lost their track in Ancient records but it can be controlled when institutions are ready to invent the new zeal regarding
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronicle
 days.
Submitted by dhruv3890 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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