Some people think that the internet has brought people together while others think that people have become more isolated now.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is thought by some individuals that the internet has bridged the gap between society,
while
others opine,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
has created the virtual world and forced
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
towards isolation. In my opinion ,cyberspace gives more access to folks to communicate with one another with different technological advantages.
To begin
with, a worldwide web area network
provides
Verb problem
allows
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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to catch kith and kin within no time Which
had
Verb problem
was
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almost impossible a few decades ago. Nowadays, through various online platforms
such
as Facebook ,Twitter and
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
show examples
,one can reach out to family and friends by video call or text messages. So it has made communication a lot
interesting
Correct quantifier usage
more interesting
show examples
and easier.
Furthermore
, the web provides masses advantages to learn new things worldwide where they meet the public of different nations and cultures. Ultimately leads to
Correct article usage
a reduce
show examples
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
interaction gap.
On the other hand
, the internet has led the community towards isolation because of the excessive use of digital networks.
As a result
, the population make their own fairyland and has no time for the physical world which invites depression and loneliness.
Also
, digitisation affects families a lot because ,by no means, the public
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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busy on cell phones for several hours without important reasons and have almost little quality time for near and dear ones.
Consequently
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
degenerate
Correct subject-verb agreement
degenerates
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healthy relationships. I believe,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
technical invention has proven a boon for mankind and brings individuals close together
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
various modes, Where one can teach, learn and exchange thoughts.
For example
, in the
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
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pandemic, when almost everything had shut down,
then
Rephrase
apply
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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study was not hampered and the entire credit
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
to the internet. In conclusion, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives are good and valid up to their level best but I believe cyberspace has more advantages to mankind which helps to maintain connections, no
matters
Fix the agreement mistake
matter
show examples
how much the
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
are distant from each other.
Submitted by rajeev kumar on

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Introduction
The introduction lacks clarity and coherence. It should clearly state the writer's position and provide an overview of the points that will be discussed in the essay.
Logical Structure
The main points need to be organized more coherently. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and there should be clear transitions between paragraphs.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion. It should not introduce new information.
Task Response
The essay addresses the task, but the response lacks depth and specific examples. Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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