Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many administrations splash out on improving individuals to succeed in global sporting competitions. Some people state that
such
Linking Words
a huge amount of money should be used for other purposes which will bring positive impacts on the general public. From my perspective, I partly disagree with the statement. The essay tends to elaborate on the matter thoroughly in the following paragraphs. On the
one
Use synonyms
hand, it is undeniable that international sporting events may have specific effects on
one
Use synonyms
country’s economics and politics
such
Linking Words
as the World Cup, the Olympics ,… If
one
Use synonyms
nation gains prizes in
such
Linking Words
competitions, that not only means that it has the opportunity to achieve fame, admiration and trust from the world but
also
Linking Words
to attract people from other countries travel to its territory.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the more famous and reliable a country is, the more likely it can gain a chance to organize enormous global events in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
homeland.
For example
Linking Words
, Japan is responsible for organizing the Winter Olympics in 2022,
this
Linking Words
will not only increase the number of people
travel
Correct pronoun usage
who travel
show examples
to Japan to spectate matches but
also
Linking Words
appeal to many international companies to invest
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
many ideal areas and spread out beautiful Japanese culture to the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, investing a large amount of money into
this
Linking Words
realm seems to be unfair to other fields
such
Linking Words
as science, history, art,… It can be easily seen that there are many football players or basketball players, who are paid highly after each match they won, have a lot of scandals and bad lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
, a basketball player was caught using drugs in his own villa in 2009.
This
Linking Words
may arise many complaints and anger among
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
fans as well as normal citizens in the community.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is
one
Use synonyms
field that
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
much more attention from the administration –
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
public, as the economics grows, inhabitants demand greater care and public services so as to upgrade their
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
standards.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
one
Use synonyms
is satisfied with his needs, he will be committed to work and contribute impressively to the growth of his country. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
investing an enormous sum of money into athletes’ improvement of performance has many benefits, the government should consider its adverse impacts as well as make more effort into improving the
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
standard of the residents.
Submitted by vuongthiminhtuong2342003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: