IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit
Still many governments use plenty of public resource training athletes to win medals for their own country worldwide. There are some opponents suppose that the public fund should be put on things that benefit citizen without any doubt. And
that is
 what I would agree on. The reason why I would against too much
money
 spending on training individuals is that the importance of sporting events’ medals is decreasing year by year. It doesn’t mean that sport is not significant. Public sports should be put on more
money
 to push it.
For instance
, governments should build more public gyms and sports centre for the citizen to entertain and exercise. More people have an opportunity to play football, more chances to get a football matchs’ medals.
Besides
, there are a lot of severe social problems to solve, particularly in the environment and education. Though many children have the right to go to school from age six or seven, there are a certain amount of young kids from poor area who could not attend classes like the other students in cities. They are forced to work in factories or do some agricultural work
instead
 of being educated.
Therefore
, public
money
 should be spent on the future of a country rather than those unpractical sporting events. In summary, I hold the opinion that governments should make good use of that
money
. Taking a step to give a solution to present problems, which the general public is focusing on and caring about is a better alternative than putting a lot of funds in training a few athletes for sporting events.
Submitted by 1351963636 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: